why do i freak out every chance i get? and mostly on the same person? i dont know. the person i freak out on is the one i love. so much it hurts. maybe i love him too much. but i cant stop. i dont know how. i think he loves me back. but i wouldnt love me back. not when i freak out or worry. i thought i had this under control. i thought i could stop thinking about you, get you off my mind. but apparently im too pathetic. is that it? too pathetic? or too weak? or have you just got hold of my heart and wont let go. just be careful what you do with it. its fragile you know. dont leave it unattended. dont play with it. dont stomp it in the ground. you may regret what happens.

be careful what you wish for

i love you

ok so i really dont have anything to blog about....that's just how much i want to blog right now. lol. anyway my internet sucks.... i think the fastest it will go is about 24 kbps/s which for anyone who doesnt know sucks. bad. haha ok enough complaining. doug. i have a question k? why all of a sudden are you acting like you dont want to talk to me ever again? you might not have noticed haha but you always want to fget off the phone quickly and you never called me over the weekend. i mean i know you were at states and all but you could have called and told me how you did. lol no big deal but as i said i have nothing to blog about so that just came to mind. anyway i havent seen you in forever!!! like 2 weeks!!! o my goodness it seems like years hahaha ok well this was a sucky blog lol

i love you

O MY GOODNESS! i havent blogged in years....i've been sooo busy out of town and in it. i am in love. (or something that seems like it) douglas ray patterosn junior is my love. and he loves me too! it's so amazing. my parents are cool (YAY!!!!) and none of my other friends have blogged either haha o well. i am and that's what counts! mindsay has got a lot of new and exciting features in the time ive been gone!! wow! go mindsay! anyway sorry my return blog is so short... haha o well.....goodbye!

o my goodness! being grounded sucks big time, let me tell you! i'm having phone withdrawal!! (not cool) i got myself grounded by not getting off of the phone when my parents told me to. (10 p.m.) yeah...o well. for a week. and i couldn't go to the movies tonight w/ doug. i thought that was a little extreme but whatever.....(my mom thought it was too....my dad obviously didn't cause my mom didn't argue) and now i can't talk to doug. he's probably not hurt by though lol. he has a ride this weekend so wish him luck! hey doug? you got on today and you DIDN'T REPLY!! OR BLOG!! what is up with this? meaniehead. and he won't kiss me much anymore. i really don't know what that is about but *sigh* i wish he would get over it. i miss the kisses. haha. i guess i will just have to get over it huh? o well. okay i auditioned for the school play today and i have to practice w/nikki this weekend for the Shakespeare Monologue and Scene Contest up in Pittsburgh so wish me luck in both!! alllrighty! i think that's all i have to say today!